2010

I started the year 2010 hoping it would be one of the best years of my life. Twelve months later, I'm not sure if it belongs to that category, but without a doubt, 2010 is one year I wouldn't soon forget.

The first few months started out smoothly. The year 2010 for me only had two defining moments:

Shortly a few weeks before turning 23, I had a ruptured appendix, which was probably my defining moment of the year. I'm grateful to come out of it alive, but the restraints and limitations of post surgery gave me depression. It was the most painful thing I ever went through- physically and emotionally. My depression even manifested in a hairloss. God.

So I turned 23 quietly, no joyful parties, just a simple celebration of being grateful. Anyway, what happened made me realize what matters, who matters, and what I deserve. Had I not been sick, I would've had a loud birthday party with loved ones, a weekend in Bohol after, and a search for the next job. But with that sad fate, my mood just wasn't festive. I could only be grateful.

And because depression only made my spirit weaker, I came back to work as soon as I could. Few weeks later, I was back with my old, carefree persona.

Before 2010 hit December, I quit my job at the Armed Forces. It was a plan long overdue. It was heartbreaking to leave because other than my real family, it was the best home I'd ever known after my school life. However, my fear of getting stuck is just bigger than my love for the place. I swear, though, I loved my job sincerely while it lasted. I once heard that you shouldn't limit yourself to what gives you happiness. I'd like to think my job loved me back. Love may be good, but cash is better. Hahahaha. Kidding.

Despite the blows that happened this year, on the whole, I think it's been a great one. I've learned what I needed to learn, realized what I should've realized; I acted by my decisions and stood by it. Faith kept me standing still. I met lots of new people, made new friends, and dropped a few people out of my life. I was more involved in the family, both nuclear and extended. Romance-wise, I've had "haba ng hair" and "giddy schoolgirl" moments. I have no other term, sorry! But did I fall in love? No. Did I have a clandestine affair? No comment. When will love ever be a priority?

For 2011, I've no resolutions, as I did not keep the ones for 2010. In the meantime, I'm ending 2010 feeling infinite. Happy New Year!

A Very Glee Christmas

With a few days to go before Christmas, I don't feel Christmasy for a reason I can't really point out. But I won't elaborate on that because I'll end up more confused. Anyway, due to my very odd shift I was only able to catch the Christmas episode of Glee last night. I've been a follower of this series since it started because it's light and funny. And I like music. Glee is a musical drama/comedy series aired in the US. It's about highschool kids who are in the glee club while dealing teenage issues in between.

This latest episode about Christmas moved me to tears. I don't easily get carried away with the shows I watch but this episode kind of made me nostalgic. Ugh.

What moved me was the part where Brittany, one of the cheerleaders and a member of the Glee club stereotyped as a dumb blonde, still believes in Santa Claus!!! Her wish for Christmas? To make her boyfriend, Artie, rise up from his wheelchair and walk again.


That's one big uh-oh. So the Glee kids ask one stocky person at school, Coach Beiste, to pose as Santa and barge in at Brittany's house to tell her that she won't get her wish. It was so heartbreaking because she really believes in the magic of Santa. Imagine the disappointment.

But nearing the end of the show, they found a device under the tree that could help Artie walk again, even if only temporarily. He was able to stand up and walk a few steps. The Glee kids were in awe. He was a Christmas miracle.

It turned out that Coach Beiste gave it as a present, but of course, everybody else believed it was Santa.

I wouldn't stop crying at the end of the episode. I also believed in Santa when I was younger. And all my life, I've known the feeling when you really believe in something. Add to that the universe's hand to bring back your faith in humanity. It happens to me quite a lot: I believe in something, get disappointed, but in the end the issue will resolve itself. Then my faith is restored. That's why even if things seem impossible, I give a chance to believe in it.

Merry Christmas. I know Santa isn't real, but I'm still hoping for some magic that will make me feel the Christmas spirit. Because right now it feels like blah.

Goodbye

I recently resigned from the Armed Forces of the Philippines, my home for 19 happy months. How ironic that in one of my latest posts I wrote how much I love my job and now I'm blogging that I left it. Sometimes, love's not enough.

It was a hard decision to make but it just had to happen sooner or later, and I think it was the best time to go. Much as I really want to stay, time has come to explore other things (I didnt dare say this during my last day because I would cry even harder...geez..they turned me into a drama queen).

Did I say I had a hard time to leave? I think it was one of the most heartbreaking decisions in my life. I just looooove that place so much. I invested so much love for the job and the people I work with. But anyway, when I talked to my boss about leaving, his words made me feel better. He's behind my decision because it is for my career growth. He said that the sign that you have to move forward is when you feel so much comfortable where you're at.

It's been two weeks since I left and I'm getting used to it. Although it still crushes my heart a bit when I get random texts from my former colleagues that they miss me. :( I miss them too. The PAO, GHQ, AFP will always be home to me. Good thing my friends there are only five MRT stations away.

And in case you want to know, I just moved in to the online arm of the country's leading newspaper. Again, an industry that operates 24/7 and knows no holidays! I'm their latest hire as editorial assistant, the bottom of the hierarchy in the news kingdom. Here's to happy endings and exciting new beginnings! :)