Two years!!

This month I turned second year as multimedia reporter for the online arm of the country's most influential newspaper (pero di ko ipo promote dito). So if you haven't figured it out yet, I only blog happy stuff but aren't too personal that can be shared  and milestones. This December I'd be on my third year at my current employer, as I first started  there as editorial assistant. Wow, I'm getting old.

I'm on my second year as reporter and yet I feel like I've been on the beat only for a year or so because I took up so many desk work (I recently made sure that my boss knows this sentiment hehehe). How is it so far? I'm on defense beat which is no problem because I'm quite familiar with it. And I've always wanted this since college. And I hate politics. This is a prayer that came true, if you ask me. I even lit candles for this back then (I should've prayed for true love instead, dont you think?) But man, I'm already here and yet taking care of sources nationwide is no piece of cake. Whenever I'm already chummies with a source on the ground, he gets re-assigned!! Bago na namang aalagaan! It's hard to keep a source in hotspot areas! This military organization is so dynamic it's so hard to keep up! Sometimes I get non-defense coverages, which is a blessing because it's a chance to unwind (and at times it's not so welcome, because I'd rather be on my beat). We get lifestyle coverages or elections, SONA, senate, etc. It's a different world every experience. It's crazy.

I have a love and hate relationship with my work. I love it because it's so humbling and I learn a lot. Like everyday, there's some new knowledge to learn or a mistake to cringe about. It's also a privilege to be a witness,

to experience things first, to see history unfold in front of you. My pleasure. This job is so humbling, it makes me realize that there is so much I don't know in the world and I have a long, long way to go. At the same time, it gives me stress, it tests my patience to the bone marrow, and sometimes I really hate it so much to a point I wish I was one of those people who don't give a shit about news. Sometimes it gives me insecurities, and there are times it makes me feel like I don't work hard enough if I don't get a story. And sometimes internal matters in the office are just too much to bear for my already stressful life. There was also a point that I barely had a social life.  This job is so unhealthy, truth be told. And yet I choose to stay.

Today, I'm still overwhelmed with the influence of media. Like how this industry I'm in can bring down a person or an institution, how glorifying a subject can win hearts of the people, or simply, just how it dictates. Although I'd have to say that as a newbie, my journalism style is more of something that "tells" rather than "dictates." But the information we choose to share is a factor when the society shapes its opinion of something. (And I don't wanna get righteous about responsible journalism here, I'm no veteran okay).

I also have to admit, the perks of the job are really gratifying. On top of my list are concerts such as Maroon 5 or J Lo that I begged to cover. I'm definitely not one of those people who would shell out so much money to see these artists in flesh (Well unless it's my ultimate favorite The Corrs). We also have privilege to get access to events that ordinary people won't get invited to. Oh boy, I love my ID at times.

At the same time, I get sad whenever some of us in this industry think that we are immune from ridicule or we can get away with things, or we can get back at things or people unfavorable to us, or we are entitled to things, just because of our job -- because we have the opportunity to dictate and influence if we want to. Some of us can be really self-serving and use the influence that we have for their own gain. I don't want to point fingers, but it's a reality in this profession. I'm not saying that I'm perfect and I'm a person of integrity -- it's also been a challenge to tone down my biases in some of my stories, too. But I pray that I do not give the impression to others that I'm self-serving, nor I will become this kind of person in the future.

If you ask me how long do I see myself in this job, well, in truth, I don't know. When I prayed for this, I didn't consider what I'd do next if I get answered. And so I've become more careful on what goals I should pray for -- it should also be as precious and worth it. But until I find a new goal, I will play things by ear and be grateful to be where I'm at. :)