Ruptured

I've always wondered how death is like, and I just had my closest brush with it just recently. My ruptured appendix nearly cost my life. I didn't know that the intermittent fever I had been nursing for 10 days would almost kill me. Yes, 10 days! Now don't think that I didn't do anything about it! That very first day I had abdominal pain I already sought for medical attention. But for a reason I don't know, I did not qualify for appendicitis in my physical exams. Lab results suggested other findings. They said when you have appendicitis, you wouldn't be able to move a bit. WELL, I DID. For 10 days or so. Now that I look back, geez, I must've defied reason again. I've always been the exception to some rules.

It's a long story and seemed to be a never-ending one. So the day I had to have the surgery was a big relief for me! I wanted my agony to end and I wanted my life back. But post-surgery was just the beginning of many things. I found out that I could've died. I had so much physical pain but my prayers then were thank yous. I was glad to be alive even if I had a series of misfortunes after the surgery. And these all happened a few days before my 23rd birthday! I call it now the worst season of my life. It was so painful I didn't have the strength to cry. Which is really ironic now that I think of it. Things will never be the same indeed.

It was the best time to recognize the love of my family. I'm an only child and my parents were with me throughout. I witnessed their sacrifices and I had no choice but to stay strong for them. I'm very blessed. And the love of my friends, co-workers, neighbors....I'm so grateful!

Life is still good. In less than a month I've come back to work. Things are not the same, and I don't think it'll ever be the same. For one, my surgical scar would always remind me of that moment I almost died. Another's my outlook in life. Despite being realistic, I've learned to lean on the positive. I've actually had a lot of life realizations but it will take another blog entry.

My weight's an issue. It's a big deal with me because I'm an ectomorph and the 10lbs I worked hard for the past year suddenly lost just like that. Now I have to go through the struggling attempts to gain weight. Again.

It is my fate. I don't know why it had to happen. But I'm sure it was meant to happen. It happened not because I deserved it, but I really believe it's in the stars. I did my part to stop it from happening but it still did. I've been through a lot in life, and I'm sure that God has a reason for this. I always believe God has a plan. It will make sense later on when the rainbow comes. For now, I'm just grateful.